Have you ever noticed how life is a collection of experiences that we are meant to learn and grow from? Regardless of whether we understand the lesson, they just keep coming. Gifts and challenges just keep coming and with a little luck, we grow from them and become stronger. Either way, they form us into who we are meant to be.
I was reflecting the other day on how much of what I now teach is based on skills or truths that I learnt throughout my life. Often I find myself telling students a story about when I first did what I am teaching them. I share these stories because it helps most people to understand that these aren’t just theories that I have read somewhere. They are tried and tested beliefs. They are skills that have been used for years and refined till they are foolproof. Often with energy work, we read something in a book or see something online and it seems like a good idea, so we try it without thinking it through. Many times these things have come from outdated sources or from people who are more interested in “likes” than actually empowering people. Discernment is imperative in this work. You need to choose your teacher with care. With that in mind, I have decided to share more of my story on here than I have been advised to. I hope it allows you to learn from my journey. Over time I will tell some stories in more detail.

I have always believed that I journey through each life gathering experiences and wisdom for the Creator. When I was a child I had the gift of intuitive sight and knowing. I incarnated with a conscious connection to the divine and all beings. This was unusual in my family. Very unusual. I like to think that I am the purple sheep of the family. I spent half my childhood in my parent’s pharmacy. You can imagine that a pharmacy (in Newtown, Wellington in the 1970s-1990s) was an interesting place for a young intuitive to watch people’s energy. Newtown at this time was home to the mental health outpatient ward, prostitutes collective, socities for cancer and aids support, first placement for new immigrants, and home to a large community of LGBTQ people, all at a time when being alternative was dangerous.
All of these people had unique energy bodies and experiences. I learnt to scan people and talk to their higher consciousness without showing any outward sign that I was up to something. I was like a little sponge just soaking up a perception of other people’s beliefs and journeys. When people came in with gruesome past life wounds and weapons sticking out of them, or large totem spirit animals, I learnt not to walk around them or show on my face how gross it was. I also learnt the hard way, that trying to heal them, wasn’t a good idea. I learnt that when you make people uneasy, it’s a good time to try and make them laugh. Even if they don’t find it funny, …. I normally do. My parents had a strong belief that all people should be treated with love and respect regardless of their life choices. I served customers in the shop from the time I could reach the buttons on the cash register. With one exception, all of my customers were met with the service my parents expected, nothing was too much trouble and nothing was ‘too weird.
Our house was a happy one, except for one room and the basement having some spirits in residence. No one else was really affected by them, but they would physically hurt me on a regular basis. My poor brothers would sometimes cop the blame for this, so I had to develop skills and support to heal myself quickly.
Then as a teenager, I was bullied abused and shut down. I became an unconscious victim of my journey. Living life in a half-asleep state, I felt like I was floating above my body and driving my life with a remote control. The advantage of this was that I couldn’t feel any pain. The disadvantage was that the pain faded quickly and I wasn’t present enough to feel love, learn, or live a full life.
Luckily that didn’t last long. A year and a bit later, an old friend reached out to catch up. He recognised that something was wrong, and helped me through the fog back into life.
I had been in the zombie lifestyle just long enough for me to know what depression felt like. I suddenly had great empathy for those who live their whole lives in unconscious victimhood and depression. In my teens, life delivered many moments to test my resolve to not be a victim again. Each time I learned new skills to survive, get strong and survive! I made myself a toolkit for survival and got out of that abuse learning cycle. For a few years, I was so proud to not be a victim. To be a survivor. Then I had several fairly intense spiritual experiences that let me know, in no uncertain terms, that “only surviving” was not an option. I was expected to LIVE! To live large and in multidimensional technicolour.

I embraced life with both hands. I lived a full experience! My clairvoyance was open and I was exploring the possibilities. Every night I was in class learning about what I could do. Then I studied what I had learnt during the day. The scope of how I could help myself and others was really exciting. I wanted to share it with everyone. In the 90s this wasn’t a good idea. The majority of people were scared of any alternative skills. Even Yoga and chiropractors were considered a bit out there. Several of the local churches told parishioners to attack Intuitives. If you wanted this lifestyle back then, you had to be willing to really work for it. I can’t count how many friends I lost when I first told them I was studying healing. They would ask why I was so happy now. They would get angry when I explained and told me that they couldn’t be friends with ‘someone like that. It would have been easier to leave my study and comply. However, something odd started to happen. I planted my feet and stood my ground. I claimed my purpose. Each time I stood up to the pressure, the universe sent me a flood of positive energy. This energy would flow through me and out into my life. It would bring back everything I needed to support my life. I realise that this happens for everyone if they are connected to their life and purpose. I started to focus on how I could help people to find their purpose and be connected to their life path more. I realised that the friends I had lost, weren’t my tribe. Their leaving gave me time for empowering friends to be in my life.
Things were looking up, however, something still wasn’t quite right. I was still vulnerable. At 25 I was energetically attacked by a woman who was psychologically unhinged before she was committed to psychiatric care. At the time I didn’t believe in psychic attacks. I wanted to believe that everything in life was sunshine and unicorns. Which life can be, but I learnt the hard way that not everyone is living in the same positive belief system. It took me 7 years to recover from this attack. I learned a lot from the journey. During this time I developed an irritable bowel disorder. It took 7 years for me to repair the damage and heal myself. During this time, I had long periods of not being able to leave the house. If you are chronically ill, I can help. I’ve been there and I understand the limitations.
Through the process of healing myself, I understood what I had missed in my early 20s. Why I had been vulnerable to attack.
In my 20s I was gathering a lot of knowledge and experience. Unfortunately, I missed the memo that when you are learning spiritual knowledge, you must transmute it into spiritual wisdom. The difference between knowledge and wisdom is integration. I am grateful for this journey and the gifts it gave me. Without that journey, I would never have taken that step.

When we learn knowledge that is part of our soul’s work, we must take the time to process how the knowledge is ours. What does it mean within our truth and our path. How does it keep us present and grounded within our personal soul journey? If we are not grounded or present in our journey, then we are vulnerable to any and all outside energies.

Now when I have an experience that touches my heart, I integrate what I have learnt from it. What message or tool does it hold for me. I turn the knowledge of what happened into wisdom.

Within this blog I hope to share some of these moments and the wisdom I received from them. I hope it helps you to build your own wisdom chest and find grounding in your own path.

I want to share my journey on here to give hope to those who are struggling to survive a similar experience.