Control Games

Often in life, people feel drained of energy. If we are in balance and in connection with our true soul purpose, then we are automatically refilled by the creator/ God Goddess/ whoever you believe is in charge of the universe.
Unfortunately, the majority of people are not in alignment with their higher power, the only way they can see to get more energy is to play a “control game” on another person and steal energy from others. This is one of the reasons why we recommend regular Healings throughout the year. Healings will not only reconnect you to your higher power, they will restore any damage done by energy influences you have experienced since your last healing.
The less connection with “the Creator” and ‘our true self’, the stronger the games.

With the goal in our minds of stopping the habit of playing the games, let’s start by trying to understand them.

If we over-simplify for the sake of starting somewhere, there are four basic types of control games - The Aloof, The Poor Me, The Interrogator and The Intimidator

The Aloof

Often makes you seek them out. Often called sulky or surly. They will distance themselves or sulk while making sure you know that they ‘need’ attention. They often do the smouldering loner look with style.  As you run to rescue the Aloof out of their perceived misery you, pour energy out, for the Aloof to effortlessly absorb. This game has become a lot more common with the home computer making it easy for people to shut themselves away and fester over why no-one cares enough to come after them. It appears that for many this stems from an inferiority issue or lack of faith.

Example – “I just go quiet or leave the room, if they want me to be part of their life they can come after me and show me they care”,  “If they can’t ask me more than once what is wrong, then I know they don’t ‘really’ want to know, they are just being polite” .

These are also the people who deliberately only answer questions with half the required information. E.g. “would you like a tea or coffee”- “oh yes please”- “so? Tea or coffee?” “oh? …Ummm ….tea” -  “…. And milk or sugar?”

Poor Me

These people concentrate on gaining energy through sympathy for their perceived issues. It’s the “hear me I don’t have enough” game. Not enough money, health, time, skill, energy, ENOUGH OF ANYTHING! These people are often like a dog with a bone, not letting go of a problem until they have bled it dry for all the drama they can. They often resort to the appointing of guilt onto the listener in order to gain the required energy. If they don’t have enough drama of their own, they can even adopt people who have drama it is ‘their job’ to fix. The need for drama can often come from not feeling interesting enough.

Example “Life just isn’t fair for me, I never have enough time to get everything done and nobody cares enough to help me!”,  “I am always so tired and everything aches, have I told you about my haemorrhoids?” The bigger the shock value the better. Often these people create problems and drama for themselves to support their game and will often retell you the same issues many times, forgetting they told you the first time.

The Interrogator

This type of person is constantly trying to prove to themselves, and everyone else, that they are superior. They use intellect, logic and the perception to create a show of being superior to the other person. They often build up your self-image only to then remind you of your failings. Subtlety is often a favourite tool. Sowing seeds of doubt and watching the person crumble. Often they point things out “for the other person’s own good”.

Another way we see this play out is the subtle one-up-man-ship. The playground example of this would be the child who when seeing a child has a new game, let’s say a xbox or wii style game, will say something like, “ oh yes I really enjoy this game, we have it at home, of course, it is much better on our TV because it’s so much bigger than yours”. Another example would be “So tell me all about yourself?...... wow that’s amazing! Of course you know you’re completely likely to fail because of X Y and Z. I know all about it”. These people often give advice without being asked for it.

Another way that this plays out is people who enjoy having secrets. The power comes from knowing something that other people don’t and probably should. An example of this would be someone who enjoys the power of cheating on their partner.

The Intimidator

The threatening one. They will use fear to gain control, playing on other insecurities. They will use put-downs, threats and general aggression to make their point. Ranging in comments from “do this or else” to “do this and I will know that you love me”. The older generation was brilliant at this. They had the most amazing catchphrases to emphasise the point. How many of us have heard parents say “I will knock your block off.” or “Child! I will have your guts for garters if you don’t….” . Of course, most parents would never follow through on threats of this nature. But as children, we still knew it meant trouble of some kind was coming our way unless we did as we were told.

There is also the brand of Intimidator that sees themselves as the Righteous Warrior. “Yup if anyone even thinks of hurting my friends, I am the one to send in, because I can cause a whole heap of pain when I need to” Within the disempowered energy they are living in, they simply can’t comprehend that, going in with that war like energy is only going to start the power games off. Often these people will make themselves appear intimidating by their size, manner of dress and general appearance.

Other Example say things like- “You’re too fat!”, “Don’t even think about doing that!” or the parents threatening glare that no child ever questions. Or the teacher who used to walk around hitting their hand with a ruler or leering over people, just waiting for a victim.

How do we resist the control games?

Once you are aware of them, it is a lot easier to spot them and choose not to engage. The key to remember is that these games can not succeed if they are only embraced by the instigator. If you choose to not engage then the game will not drain your energy. Most people will then try to use a different game to claim your energy. They will cruise through the variety of games until they find the one that makes you join the game. if you find yourself defending, you are probably playing one of the games and they have pulled you in. Instead, Stop! Connect your crown chakra into the energy of your higher power. Fill yourself up. Then gift the other person with a bubble of love from the divine. This is not your soul energy. It is not force-fed to them, it is just offered. …. silently, without telling them to fill up and get their act together lol.
If this seems like something your would like to be taught properly, It is part of what I teach in my coaching sessions, just ask and I will talk you through it.